I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
