so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
