I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Randomize
