The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Randomize