If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Randomize
