You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
