it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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