marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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