He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
My breasts were aching with rage.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
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