There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize