Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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