the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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