Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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