your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
