I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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