Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
