That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
