moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize