Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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