There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
