his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize