i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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