Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
