When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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