you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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