I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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