I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
