What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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