What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
