its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
