Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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