but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
