i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
