Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
He had one of those small greek statue penises
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
