I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
