last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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