Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
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