Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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