my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
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