check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
