I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
