Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
