I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Just pee around me
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
