Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize