are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
