That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
