if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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