If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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