Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Randomize
