yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
