this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
