WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
