I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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