I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
