i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
